Gay Vernon Society

gaywrites:

Today’s food for thought:

Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon was widely praised for coming out a few years back, but in a recent New York Times interview, she made comments about her sexuality that have drawn serious criticism - and some praise - from the LGBTQ community. 

To avoid paraphrasing poorly, here’s the entire section that’s got everyone worked up:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

It’s pretty obvious why people would be angry with Nixon for making this statement. Saying that being gay is a choice negates the “born this way” argument of equality by implying that a person could just as easily choose to be straight. If gays are choosing the identity, this implies, why give them equal rights when they could just opt out of being gay altogether?

The Slate article above digs deeply into the issue that’s presented here: not necessarily whether being gay is a choice or not, but whether we can accept choosing to be gay as a legitimate way of embracing the identity. Is it bigoted to be angry with someone who says they chose their sexuality? Do we have the right to define someone’s “gayness”? 

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this yet, but I was definitely caught off guard at first read. What do you all think?

gayvernon:

I think people really need to actually listen to what she said because it makes perfect sense. I didn’t choose to be gay its just who i am and i wouldnt want to have it any other way! But for Cynthia it was a choice. Most likely it was one of those choices she made because she enjoys sex and wanted to explore more venues. How can you bash her for that, when in reality she is a straight sex icon who wants to explore and experience what the “gay” community is like. Most of us don’t choose to be gay, but some of us do, but the literal term behind gay means to be happy.. so why aren’t you?